Drive

I once had this very vivid dream.  I was in a mini-van full of people.  I have no idea where we were heading nor do I remember who was in the van with me, but I do remember this:  I was to drive.  So in my dream I sit down in the driver's seat, put the key in the ignition, start the car, and begin to drive.  I’m not going particularly fast.  Then for some inexplicable reason I get up and move to the very back of the van.  I guess I was just tired of driving.  The van is still moving but no one is at the wheel.  I start yelling at someone who is closer to the steering wheel to jump into the driver’s seat and drive.  The van is moving erratically now, but everyone is looking at me with horror, expecting me to get back in the driver’s seat.  Even though I’m the one furthest away from the wheel, I’m the only one who moves to take back control of the van.

At first in my dream, I’m upset at the others in the van for not moving to the driver’s seat.  After all, they’re closer, it’s easier for them to quickly assume the wheel, and it gives us the quickest route to safely save ourselves.  Then it dawns on me – why did I get out of the driver’s seat to begin with? I was the one who was supposed to be driving.  Why would I just get up and go to the back of the van like that?  Where was my head?  This deep sense of fear washed over me, to the point where I woke up from the dream and just sat there, dumbfounded I would start a car, drive it, get tired of driving and then randomly just get up and move, fully expecting someone else to just come in and drive, no notice given and no questions asked.

As I sat there pondering this dream, pieces of it began to become clear and I realized a few very important things:  My life was the van, and no one else was going to drive it for me.  I could pull over and rest, certainly.  I could use maps and other tools to help me go in the right direction.  But I can’t abdicate my life to someone else so they can live it for me without disastrous consequences.

I think we all have moments where we just wish someone else would do the driving or the heavy lifting in our lives.  We want the fun, happy parts; we just don’t want to have to deal with the hard, ugly parts.  Consistently being engaged and working toward growth can be hard, and I have found it requires practice, patience, and a whole lot of grace because I will make mistakes!

So I decided to check out what God had to say about consistency.  Guess what?  Couldn’t find it.  Not a single instance.  Couldn’t find a reference to the word “consistent” either.  Now I’m sure there’s some version out there that may use those words, but in going through my NIV I couldn’t find a one.  With further exploring, I realized the Bible uses different words for this idea of consistency than we do – discipline, wisdom, hard work, and righteous just to name a few.  It also uses antonyms – sluggard, laziness, wanton, etc.  More intriguingly, I began to find this idea of a path. 

Consider the following from Proverbs:

3:6 “… in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

4:11 “I [wisdom] guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.”

4:26 “Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.”

5:21 “For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and He examines all his paths.”

9:6 “Leave your simple ways and you will live.  Walk in the way of understanding.”

12:28 “In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality.”

15:19 “The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.”

At the end of the day, I’ve come to realize God is deeply interested in helping us along on our path, our journey, and while we may be tempted to want to get out of the driver’s seat when our journey gets tough, if we consistently lean into God, our path will stay clear longer, we’ll get past obstacles more quickly, and we’ll stumble and fall less often.  It’s doesn’t mean we get a pass on life’s challenges.  Rather, He promises to guide us on to something even greater in the midst of them.

For Further Thought: Which of the listed scriptures in Proverbs speaks to you most and why?  What is a way you can use it to help you move forward on your own path this week?

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Bare it All!

“The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame,” (Ge. 2:25).  There’s something powerful about being completely exposed and yet feeling no shame.  My friend Bridgid Dunn Weber is a woman who has learned that first hand.  “When I was first diagnosed with Alopecia, I felt embarrassed,” she explained.  “I did everything I could to hide it.  It made me feel like less of a woman.”

Alopecia is a condition that causes women (and men) to lose their hair.  For some people, they even lose their eyebrows and eyelashes.  Bridgid went for years trying to disguise her condition, using colored scalp sprays, hairpieces and eventually wigs.  Then one day she decided she was tired of hiding. 

“I used to think about that scripture in the bible that says a woman’s hair is her glory (1 Cor. 11:15) and then it hit me – hair is for her glory, not for God’s.  God loves me and sees me as glorious with or without hair.”

So Bridgid did a brave thing.  She went out for the very first time in public – bald.  Then she did it again.  And again.  Empowered, she took it one step further and let photographer Caroline Hall from Green Faerie Productions do a photo shoot … and posted it on Facebook.  

  

Not only do I applaud and admire my friend’s courage, I love the carefree sparkle and joy I see in her eyes.  Gone is the fear, the longing and the pain.  In their place are acceptance, joy and a new found freedom.  What’s noticeably missing is any sense of shame.

It got me thinking.  It seems to me we all wear some sort of wig, a disguise to hide behind.  Like my friend Bridgid, we’re afraid to truly be seen and be known, afraid of being judged and found wanting.  But the more we hide behind our ruse, the more we become trapped by it.  Maybe today is the day to look to Bridgid’s example and just throw off the wig!  After all, freedom and peace are waiting on the other side.

For further thought:  “Christ has set us free to live a free life.  So take your stand!  Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you,” (Gal. 5:1).  What is something you can do to be genuinely seen this week?

Want more information on Alopecia?  Check out the National Alopecia Areata Foundation on Facebook.  For more inspiring stories like these, subscribe to the Dented Fender in the upper right column.  

Yanking My Chain

When I look at this picture, I feel like that kid in the harness sometimes!  God is holding my hand, leading me through this beautiful but potentially dangerous place called life.  I see something off in the distance that looks soooo inviting!  I want to go run and grab a hold of it, but God knows it will hurt me.  I feel Him trying to pull me back in those circumstances, but I’m like a strong-willed child determined to run away and touch the fire.  My frustration wells at those tethers that keep me from what I want!

But here’s the catch – my harness is removable.  I know how to take it off.  I always have the choice to remove it because God treats me respectfully as an adult, even when I don’t act like one, even when I choose wrong.  So, all too often, I remove my harness and run headlong into a world full of hurt.  Ever been there? 

I have a couple of choices when the fire has burned me yet again.  I can choose to learn to like pain, get addicted to the dysfunction, and keep getting burned over and over and over again.  I admit there are times in my life where I have done just that.  I stubbornly stick out my chin and insist on doing the same hurtful routines, then actually wonder why I’m so unhappy and unfulfilled.

I’ve learned the hard way my second choice is so much better – trust God!  In truth, His path doesn’t always make sense to me.  I don’t always get why we need to head in a particular direction or why He’s nudging me to not go toward something I think looks great!  In those moments, I have to remind myself He is the designer of my journey.  He does know, even when I don’t.  Where He guides me always leads to growth and joy. 

You’d think by now I’d know better than to strain against Him!  Certainly I have grown. Yet trusting God is still the single most challenging aspect of my walk with Him.  I like to be in control, to be in the know.  Whether it’s my finances, my children, my dating life, my career, my friends – you name it!  My instinct is to run full steam ahead, never stopping once to consult my guide. 

Yet that’s what I love most about God.  He isn’t afraid of my mistakes.  My mess doesn’t push Him away or change His love for me.  Ever.  Now I may face consequences from my actions, some of which are permanent, but even then God is right there with me, helping me to learn, to grow and to travel a little more capably each time.  As He and I continue on what is our own unique journey together, I learn to trust His guidance and surrender a little bit more with each step. 

For Further Thought: Proverbs 3:8 says, “If you depend on Him, your body and mind will be free from the strain of a sinful life, will experience healing and health, and will be strengthened at their core.”  What are some ways you have been straining away from God?  Think of one action you can take this week, mentally or physically, to help you move toward Him again.  

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Small Craft Advisory!

I recently read an African proverb that says, “You don’t become an accomplished sailor by travelling on calm seas.”  I had to smile.  My dad had a crazy streak in him when it came to boating.  As soon as a small craft advisory was put into effect (translation – don’t go out on the water!) my dad would grab his boat keys and shout, “Let’s go!”  We would go out on incredibly rough waters, getting banged up and thrown all over the place.

Now my dad also had a knack for understanding how far he could push the weather envelope.  He never took us out so far we couldn’t quickly reach safe harbor should the weather take an unexpected turn for the worse.  There were days he would say it wasn’t safe and we would stay put.  But anything on the rough side was his idea of a great learning opportunity. 

 So, I learned how to navigate multi-directional waves, high waves, short chops and many things in-between.  I learned how to chart a course, read the weather, when to push and when to head to shore.  In short, he taught me how to become an expert boater.  

I’ve noticed my spiritual dad has that same crazy streak.  He pushes me forward when others would say, “Stay put!”  He’ll put me in situations I think are beyond my ability to handle, but then he guides me through the challenge, helping me emerge on the other side wiser and more seasoned.

I don’t always understand what the lesson is when we’re starting out together.  Sometimes he just hands me the wheel and lets me have a turn, guiding me through my mistakes and celebrating my victories.  Over time, he teaches me to become accomplished at living life, navigating through all of its moods and seasons with confidence. 

While I would hardly classify myself as an expert at life, I smile because I know that’s my dad’s vision for me.  And he has taught me with him by my side I can navigate anything.  Knowing that, I can enter the waters of life with confidence.

For further thought: “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up—the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, your Savior …” (Is. 43:2-3, TLB).  Are you facing any rough seas right now?  What is God trying to help you learn about yourself in this challenge?  Feel free to post!