It is a sterling moment when people reward your faith in
them. I have two very distinct,
powerful moments that I hold to dearly with each of my sons. Both, after some months out on their
own, came back to me and thanked me for the love and guidance I gave them, for
the life lessons and principles I worked to instill in them, and for my
patience with them during those crazy, challenging teen years. Priceless moments each, I will never
forget them.
People have a way of surprising you. You can have hurtful, challenging,
heart-wrenching discussions and arguments that pierce your heart. Yet at this point in my life I have
repeatedly seen when I do my best to stay god-centered during those times,
really striving to come from a place of love and kindness, even if the initial
moment doesn’t go well, over time the love often wins out.
I have had people come back to me weeks, months and even
years after negative, hurtful exchanges to heal, seek forgiveness, reconnect with
me again, or simply thank me for my effort. As I’ve stepped back in wonder at this, I have to admit a
few things. First, I didn’t handle
every interaction perfectly. I did
the very best I was capable of and strove to approach it from a good heart, but
my words and actions were still flawed.
In other words, it’s not me that made this happen. I don’t have some sort of Midas touch
or gilded tongue that works magic over time.
Second, I have made poor decisions that have placed me in
the conflict to begin with. It’s
not like I’m always the bigger person offering grace and mercy. Sometimes I’m the one needing to
receive it. And there are times I
know in advance the person I’m going to have a challenging discussion with is
not going to “get it.” They’re not
going to understand my perspective because they are too locked up in their
own. That’s okay. It’s still important to try. You never know when the lights will
brighten and they’ll understand, just as I’ve had comments people have made
come back to me years later only to be deeply struck by the wisdom and truth in
what they shared.
What I’ve come to realize - the true miracle is love. Love is a powerful and amazing tool,
able to reshape the human landscape.
1 Peter 4:8 says, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for
each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” As hard as it is for me to
offer a loving heart to someone when I’m hurt and reeling, especially when I’m
the injured party, the time I spend on my knees crying out to God for wisdom on
how to be loving and selfless while still protecting my personal boundaries is
time well spent. Even if in the
moment I see no result or acknowledgment of my effort, there is deep value in
offering a response rooted in love.
Now not everyone comes back later, ready to shake hands and
move forward. There are people I’m
sure who will go to the grave holding onto whatever hurt or slight they feel I
have offered them. No amount of my
reasoning or compassion will ever change it. And that’s okay.
We’re all on different journeys, responding as best we’re able while
hiking an uphill path. But to the
ones who do come back, and for the ones I’ve gone back to myself, what an incredible
experience! The wonder and freedom
that spring from those moments are indescribably beautiful, like a flower
unfurling its petals to the life-giving warmth of the sun. They make your heart smile :-)
For further thought: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God" - Matthew 5:9 (NIV). What situation do you need to come to a place of peace about? Begin praying to move in that direction.
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