Little Victories

I remember as a young woman, I really struggled with insecurity.  I mean my fears of what others thought of me ate me up for breakfast, lunch and dinner!  When I became a Christian, I worked hard to let that insecurity go.  I knew in God’s eyes I was enough, and I wanted to own that. One day, in a moment of despair, I sat down with a close friend and confessed, “I’m so frustrated!  This is never going to change.  I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m this horrible, needy person who will never measure up.  I suck!”

My friend gently reminded me of what’s true.  “Barb, you have grown!  I remember when you first started to tackle this.  You struggled with insecurities daily.  This is the first time in nearly 6 weeks you’ve felt this way.  That’s SIX WEEKS!  That’s a lot of growth.”  But it was what she shared next with this recovering perfectionist that truly set me free.

“You know, you may struggle with insecurity in one form or another all your life.  And that’s okay. God never promised perfection in this lifetime.  But what you will notice is that over time, you’ll grow in your ability to handle it, that the weeks will eventually turn into months, and one day you will look back and see how God has transformed you.”

And her words have been true.  I rarely struggle with insecurity these days, and when I tell people I was deeply insecure as a young woman and, in fact, can still struggle with it occasionally now, they look at me skeptically.  I’ve literally had people tell me, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t picture you that way.” And my heart smiles because I realize that God has been faithful to me, pulling me forward to a brighter, happier space as I’ve learned to lean into Him more closely.  

My friend’s wise words remind me of what the Apostle Paul wrote to Titus in Titus 2:11-13: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.”  

Paul reminds me I walk in grace.  Why? Because I need it!  I will never be perfect.  I will always struggle in one form or another.  But God will continue to teach me and teaching often involves learning over time.  There will be some things I pick up quickly and they will come easily for me.  But there will also be things that will be harder for me to learn, and I may wrestle with them in one form or another all of my life.  That’s okay! My life is still changing and transforming into something beautiful, something more like Christ.  And when he comes, my blessed hope, I’m done with the struggling for good!  

So, when you get frustrated with yourself, when you start to feel like you’ll never change and you never could, remember.  Remember that God loves you too much to leave you where you are.  Remember to celebrate the little victories you experience, however small, because it’s the little victories strung together over time that become the transformation we all seek.  Especially remember that we walk in grace.  God doesn’t expect you or me to be perfect.  Jesus came to free us from that heavy burden.  All He asks is that we keep turning to Him and His truths for our lives.  Not perfectly, but consistently.  He’ll do the rest.   

For Further Thought: I talk a lot about surrounding yourself with your spiritual truths.  One of those truths is that you are valued and worthwhile to Christ.  That’s why Jesus chose to die for you – you were worth that to Him!  It’s not because you and I earned it somehow.  When you start to feel like you’re stuck and you won’t ever change, find those scriptures that remind you that God has you and your situation right in His hand, and post them around you conspicuously as the positive reminders we all need that we’re chosen and loved.  Here’s one to consider:  

       Now that we are set right with God by means of this

       sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice,

       there is no longer a question of being at odds with God 

       in any way.  If, when we were at our worst, we were

       put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death

       of his Son, now that we're at our best (saved and set 

       free), just think of how our lives will expand and 

       deepen by means of his resurrection life! (Romans 5:9-

       10)

When you screw up, remember--you can't earn your way into heaven, so quit trying.  Instead, embrace a daily walk with Christ and make space to acknowledge the little 

victories in your life as He expands your understanding and moves you forward toward a deeper, richer space.  

Book Excerpt & Presales

In just one week, we will begin to take preorders for my new book, Using What's Broken to Boldly Shine.  I'm humbled and excited to be able to share with you the message I feel God has laid upon my heart.  I have been getting some early reviews back in and I have been blown away by how positive they have been!  I have spent many, many hours trying to craft a powerful, impacting message of hope and freedom from the spiritual tunnels we find ourselves in, but you just never know how others are going to perceive it until they tell you.  Here's a few that, if I'm being honest, made me tear up a bit:

Barb Lownsbury's writing style is very compelling and immediately draws in the reader from the first word.  I like the way she has outlined Using What's Broken to Boldly Shine to help the reader immediately do something--and offers points that can be taken.  This is a book that deserves a wide read - Jo Anne Lyon, Ambassador General Superintendent Emerita, The Wesleyan Church

From a personal point of view, Barb's approach to friendships and relationships contains some of the best advice I've read.  I was profoundly impacted.  I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking to go deeper in their relationship with God and work through their challenges in a conversational, approachable way. - David Hermon, Professor of Psychology, Marshall University

Barb does a wonderful job of blending Scripture with personal experience.  The reader will leave this book encouraged to keep on, and convicted to put the first things first in their lives.  I encourage anyone who is not sure what or where to go next, to invest time into this study--you will not leave unchanged! - Beth Guckenberger, author/speaker and co-executive director of Back2Back Ministries

Barb's writing is seamless and interesting, easy-to-read yet packed with meaning and reference to so much inspiring and applicable scripture.  Reading Using What's Broken to Boldly Shine is like talking with a spiritual advisor, psychologist, social worker and friend all rolled into one! -Cathy Liggett, award winning author.  

I hope you will consider preordering my book next week.  In the meanwhile, here is a brief excerpt from my chapter on Intentionality:

I love the outdoors. When I lived in Flagstaff, Arizona, there was a National Park trailhead not more than 30 seconds away from my home. I could hike to my heart’s content, inhaling the woodsy fresh scent of the Ponderosa pines, their fallen needles cushioning my every step as I explored the beauty around me. The night sky was so clean and clear, I could see the milky way galaxy just walking out into my backyard. If I took even a few minutes of time, I could easily find a falling star to wish upon. It was, in a word, gorgeous.

I have also lived in places that were anything but gorgeous. There was no innate beauty around me to admire, no nearby natural escapes to wander through. The main parts of town looked unkempt and forlorn. The landscape was monotonous, boring.

I have found life can be much the same way. What God wants for each one of us is a beautiful, amazing journey along a pathway specifically designed for us. Yet all too often, we get so busy making our plans, setting our goals and striving for some future date or situation, that we miss the daily choices and decisions God lays before us that allow our forward movement toward that beautiful, rich path. Our life begins to feel like drudgery because we keep treading the same old rutted, well-worn road we understand but don’t deeply enjoy. We know we want better, but we don’t stop long enough to listen each and every day for the ways the Lord is trying to direct us to the bountiful journey He has marked out for each of us.

Intentionality is all about making plans with God instead of making plans and hoping God will somehow come along for the ride. Do you know how long some researchers say the average New Year’s resolution lasts? Thirty-six hours. That’s it! Without true motivation that comes from developing a vision with and connection to God, our intentions fall by the wayside.

Intentionality in itself is discovering through prayer and reflection with God what steps you need to take and how you will need to take them. It’s more than making plans; it’s making God central to your plan making. Like every other quality we’ve explored, intentionality is a process that grows and evolves with you over time as God directs your steps. 

PREORDERS BEGIN NEXT WEEK!

Gaining Perspective

Wow.  What a journey.  I have a friend who was just telling me about his 30+ year search to find his birth parents.  His childhood had been rough; he wasn't adopted until he was in his middle school years, and had suffered abuse at the hands of his foster parents prior to being adopted.  In his mind his childhood experience had been "less than."  Less than perfect, less than fair, less than ideal.  And because of it, he felt "less than."  

Fast forward a few decades, and he finally discovers not only his birth parents' identities, but also that he has several siblings who were raised with the parents.  With few exceptions, they had all experienced a much tougher childhood than he had.  His experiences paled in comparison.  Most of them viewed my friend as being profoundly lucky for having been raised away from family influence.  Talk about a game changer!  He came to realize his existence, while hard, was actually an improvement over what would've happened had he been kept, and for perhaps the first time feels thankful for his upbringing.  Nothing changed - but everything changed.  It was all a matter of perspective.

How we approach our lives, our challenges, our faith, our families, our friends and our world largely depends on our perspective.  We may not all experience something as dramatic as my friend, able to see in this lifetime the hidden blessing behind times of challenge and suffering.  But each of us can choose to pursue growth and healing in the midst of our struggles, to allow our perspective to be based on faith in God's ability to use everything for our good even when we don't understand.   

Ultimately, we will each of us have dramatic stories to be told when we finally complete our journey home.  Stories of what we overcame, how we persevered, and the powerful victories God helped us snatch from the jaws of certain defeat.  As Christians, we will all have that moment where our temporal perspective will change to an eternal one, and we will understand in incredible detail the divine care we have received.  Paul explains this to us when he shares, "At present, all I know is a little fraction of the truth, but the time will come when I shall know it just as fully as God now knows me!" (1 Corinthians 13:12).  Like my friend, we will count ourselves lucky, for we will have escaped the world for something far better.  Keeping that perspective on Earth helps us persevere.  

For Further Thought:
To be clear, God hates the wrong that is done to us.  There are scriptures too numerous to mention that talk of God's pain for us (and because of us) over wrong choices made.  God doesn't want ugly, hard things to come our way.  It's why He hates sin so much.  He sees the pain it causes us.  But since He is God, He is able to take the ugly moments in our lives and heal us from them emotionally.  He will then actually use them as a blessing for others if we let him.  Isaiah shares about this when he says, "God has sent me to give them a beautiful crown in exchange for ashes, to anoint them with gladness instead of sorrow, to wrap them in victory, joy, and praise instead of depression and sadness.  People will call them magnificent, like great towering trees standing for what is right.  They stand to the glory of the Eternal who planted them" (Isaiah 61:3).  This week, ask God to put someone in your path that you can share with and use your experiences to build into and encourage that individual.  I'd love to hear how it goes!

Evaporating Worry

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The windows were down low.  It was the kind of day where the weather perfectly cooperated, neither too hot nor too cold, so I drove around with my elbow hanging out of the window.  The pleasure of the sunshine on my face and the breeze whipping through my hair barely penetrated my thoughts, though, for they were occupied with many other things.  

There are many ways, big and small, to let the joy get ripped out of our lives.  This particular day I was doubting the path God has me on, but the truth is it could've been any number of things.  Relationships, money, weight, performance, work, kids, politics, church, past failings, you name it - they all have the ability to pull us out of the beauty of the moment and throw us into an ocean of doubt, fear and even self-loathing.  We come up sputtering with anger, or get swept up into waves of emotions that threaten to swallow us whole.

I had music playing in the background on that particular morning.  Somehow a line from a song shot out like an arrow and penetrated my thoughts.  Hillsong United sang, "God of Your promise, You don't speak in vain.  No syllable empty or void."  It struck me, and like a flood many, many scriptures came to mind:

• "The word of the Lord is flawless" (2 Samuel 22:31).
• "The unfolding of Your words gives light" (Psalm 119:130).
• "For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does" (Psalm 33:4)
• "Heaven and Earth will pass away, but My words will never pass away" (Matthew 24:35).

God speaks over and over and over again about His faithfulness.  The Bible is filled with story after story of God coming through time and time again.  It doesn't always happen the way people expect or when they expect it, but His promise is good and true; His timing, in hindsight, is perfect.  I have experienced this personally in my life times too numerous to count.  It has shown up in the timely word of encouragement I needed, the unexpected blessings, both tangible and intangible, and the many open doors I have been blessed to walk through.  It has especially shown up in my times of trial, God's hand right there beside me, guiding me through the storm to make it to safe pastures, richer for the journey.  In all ways and at all times He has been faithful to me, even when I have felt faithless (another promise He gives - 2 Timothy 2:13).  God is incredibly good!

My worry evaporated in the light of His truth.  God has me.  He really, truly has me.  And He has you!  You are valued.  You are treasured.  You are worth immeasurably more than you can imagine to God.  Nothing in your life escapes His notice or care.  He has actually carved your name into the palm of His hands (Isaiah 49:16).  He never promises we won't have trials or storms in life.  He actually says we will.  But God has overcome the world, and the more we learn to lean into Him, the more powerfully we live at peace in His presence, trusting He has our backs and knows just how to guide us past whatever obstacle it is we face if we simply let Him.  

Secure once again in His loving care, my shoulders relaxed and a smile crept onto my face.  I noted the sunshine; I felt the wind.  Most of all, I remembered to place my burdens squarely where they need to be--into my God's loving, powerful and mighty hands.

For Further Thought:  Jesus said, "Come to me.  Get away with me and you'll recover your life.  I'll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep me company and you'll learn to live freely and lightly" (Matthew 11:29-30).  True rest and peace is found with Jesus.  This week: 1) What does that phrase, "learn the unforced rhythms of grace," mean to you?  How can you apply that in your life?  2) Think of the challenges in your own life you hold onto.  Prayerfully offer them up into Jesus' capable hands.  Remember that surrendering doesn't mean a lack of action.  It means trusting God with the outcome.  He will protect you.