A Tragic Moment at OSU

The phone rang.  I saw my sister’s face pop up on my cell and so I answered with a smile, ready to settle in for a nice catch-up type of conversation. 

“Barb, you need to call the boys to be sure they’re safe.  There’s a shooter on the Ohio State campus.”  Not exactly the call I’d expected.  I could feel the adrenalin immediately kicking in as I quickly hung up to call.  You see, both of my sons and their girlfriends attend OSU. 

Before I could even dial, my oldest son called me.  “We’re safe.  We’re all here and we’re safe.”  He briefly let me know one of his closest friends had been in class when a fire alarm went off.  As the students exited the building, someone driving a car began to plow into the crowd, and then emerged from his vehicle brandishing a knife and a gun.  Later, we would learn he had only the knife, but at that early hour the possibility of a large death count loomed.

As he quickly let me go so he could call the rest of the family, I sat there in stunned silence, trying to absorb what seemed like an impossibility.  A shooter?  On my sons’ college campus?  It would seem the craziness of the world’s headlines had managed to land on our front door.

How do you even process that?  How do you wrap your head around something that crazy?  My heart immediately went out to the students who weren’t locked away safely, and to the families who anxiously waited to hear if their loved ones were okay.   We were lucky yesterday.  Though there were injuries, there wasn’t a large death count.  We wouldn’t be another Columbine, or Umpqua Community College.  I cried when I first heard those stories.  I didn’t cry yesterday.

There were 23 campus shootings last year, and 15 so far for 2016.  I know because I looked it up.  While school shootings aren’t something entirely new – the first recorded incidents occurred back in the 1800’s – the volume of them are.  Is it the attention brought on by the media?  Is it the desensitizing of our humanity by technology and our mostly digital interactions?  I bet, like me, you could come up with a long list of possible suspects.

As I searched for answers, I found a familiar scripture: 

“But mark this:  There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them,” (Ephesians 3:1-5).

I remember the first time I read this, ironically when I lived on a college campus myself.  It struck me deeply then, and it strikes me deeply now. That IS the world I live in.  Yet as sobering as that is, I have to remember Jesus’ message to all of us:

           

“And you, beloved, are the light of the world. A city built on a hilltop cannot be hidden. Similarly, it would be silly to light a lamp and then hide it under a bowl. When someone lights a lamp, she puts it on a table or a desk or a chair, and the light illumines the entire house. You are like that illuminating light. Let your light shine everywhere you go, that you may illumine creation, so men and women everywhere may see your good actions, may see creation at its fullest, may see your devotion to Me, and may turn and praise your Father in heaven because of it,” (Matthew 5:14-16).

Every day, I have the choice to be different.  I have the ability to stand up and reach out with

love in the face of hatred, with kindness when others are mean, and with grace and patience in

an angry, impatient world.  I have a chance to show a way of living that embraces goodness to

others, and to extend that goodness to myself, even when I don’t deserve it.  I have the

opportunity to stand for something bigger than myself, something beautiful and

transformative.  I stand for God.

I know this life is short.  The Bible describes it as a mist, here today and gone tomorrow.  As I

grow, I find I worry less and less about what others think, and focus more and more on

helping others.  I may never know when the ugliness in this world will land at my door step,

but I do know who I can be in response.

For Further Thought:  What is one way you can let your light shine this week in an affirming

healing way?   Make a decision to be that positive influence to those around you and to

yourself.

Borrowing Trouble

It had been a busy day.  I left work to take my daughter to her first orthodontist consultation.  All I was thinking about was the work I needed to get back to, and my growing impatience at having had to wait so long to be seen.  Little did I know what was to come.

When we finally got in, a simple panoramic x-ray was taken of my daughter’s teeth.  Then the mood changed.  The orthodontist started asking my daughter all sorts of questions, the sort that weren’t typical for someone getting braces.  He was asking about pain in her jaw, her last dental appointment, and if she felt discomfort while eating.  He motioned me over, put a latex glove on my hand, and had me touch her lower left gum.  “Do you feel that?” he asked, looking at me with an intensity I didn’t quite understand yet.

“Not really,” I answered, confused, “but I’m not really sure what it is I’m supposed to be feeling for.”

“And your dentist didn’t say anything to you at her last appointment?  He didn’t send you a referral to a surgeon?”  Confused, I shook my head no.

At this point, I realized something was wrong.  The dentist was doing his best to keep the mood light for the sake of my daughter, but he was communicating something far more serious with his eyes every time he looked at me.  He then showed me the x-ray, and the large, black mass in my daughter’s lower left gum line.  The baby tooth above the growth was largely eaten away.  The adult tooth below it had been pushed almost completely through the jaw bone.  I heard words like cyst, teeth extractions and surgery.  I privately asked him about some other words, like cancer and tumor and growth rate, possibilities that were confirmed.

The next few days were a blur.  It’s in times like these I step back in awe at the kind of quality people God has placed in my life.  The surgeon didn’t have an opening until February.  Many people prayed while my dear boyfriend pulled several strings, and she was seen just three days later.  Throughout those three days, I had knowledgeable people giving me all sorts of potential scenarios, some of which were every bit as scary as you could imagine. 

The night before our consultation, one of my closest friends asked, “How is it that you’re so calm?  Are you sure you’re okay?  I mean, this is a big deal!”

It was hard for me to put into words how I wanted to answer – it still is, really.  But I answered by sharing a phrase I had picked up somewhere along the road: “Don’t borrow trouble.”

You see, at this point I had a good idea of the worst case scenario, but I also knew it could be something that was relatively simple to correct.  I didn’t go out onto the internet researching all the what if’s.  I didn’t give a lot of mental energy to the what if’s either.  Certainly I had my moments, especially in the beginning when the news was fresh and the tears flowed.  But I kept hearing God remind me that He would protect us through this trial, and I made a decision I wasn’t going to borrow trouble – I wasn’t going to worry about things that may never materialize.  If there was a bridge of deeper challenge I would have to cross, I would take my daughter’s hand and we would cross it together with God leading the way.  Until I knew I had to cross it, however, I chose to pray a lot, I asked others to pray a lot, and I laid it all into the Master’s capable hands. 

Barely a week after that initial appointment for braces, my daughter was being wheeled into surgery, in good spirits and determined to focus on others.  I don’t think there was a person involved in her care that she didn’t ask, “So how is your morning going?” or “How are you doing today?”  She wasn’t worried; she was calm and confident.  I felt so proud.  And God did answer many collective prayers.  We got the best case scenario we’d prayed for.  She would be back to normal with minimal impact in 4 to 6 months. 

As I sat there afterwards, praising God through joyful tears, I remembered the times in my life where that hadn’t been the outcome.  I thought of my dad’s terminal cancer diagnosis, my son’s significant speech delay that would take years to overcome, a close friend who didn’t make it through the accident and surgery.  We, none of us, know what direction our path will take us, what challenges or opportunities lie around the very next bend.  Yet one thing I do know, one thing I have learned: God is good.  He is gracious and He gives us the strength to get through life’s challenges in a way we could never get through on our own.  He places key people at the right times in the right places to give us that word, those few sentences, that similar experience or that thoughtful gift that shore up our soul and remind us we’re not alone.  He shows us that scripture or shows up in the sermon or lesson we hear that was exactly what we needed in the moment.  Sometimes it’s as simple as giving us that beautiful sunrise or sunset to remind us He is in control, and beauty still exists.

So what about you?  What are you tempted to borrow trouble from?  Is it your next career move, or your children?  Is it your dating life, or your fear for the future?  It could be something as big as our current political environment, or as personal as how you’re going to get your next meal for your family.  Whatever it is, take it to God and let it go.  As Jesus reminds us, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:25-26).  Remember: God will give you the strength should you need to cross that bridge.  Don’t own it until He asks you to.

For Further Thought: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight,” (Proverbs 3:5-6).  Can you think of a way you tend to borrow trouble?  Consider making time to offer it up to God and asking Him to direct your path during this season.       

You Are Worthy

“For you have been chosen by God himself – you are priests of the king, you are holy and pure, you are God’s very own – that you may show others how God called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”  Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that God personally chose you?  Not just your neighbor, not just some full-time minister, but He personally chose you.  Think about that for a minute.  The creator of the Universe, of all the stars in the heavens, the One who carved out deep canyons and brought mighty oceans to life decided to personally choose you.  Not only that, but He also views you as holy, pure.  In God’s eyes, you’re something special!

Too often, I can lose sight of that fact.  The truth is I don’t always feel very holy or particularly pure, especially when I’ve blown it in some way.  I still have times where I yell at my kids.  I can act in ways that are selfish or hurtful to those around me.  I can be critical in my heart and mind toward myself and others.  When I look at those things, I don’t feel like I’m God’s own.  I feel embarrassed and ashamed.

Thankfully, God views me so differently!  Now certainly God helps me grow in every area of my life, but He always loves and accepts me right where I’m at, right in this moment.  And He does the same for you!  Paul tells us in Romans 5:8, “Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us.”  God wasn’t sitting around waiting for you to get your act together in order for Him to choose you.  No, while you were in your messiest, hardest moments, God chose you.  Let that sink in.

So if you and I are chosen and loved apart from our performance, if God views us as His priests, holy and pure even in the midst of our weaknesses, why should we live in fear?  If God accepts you for who you are and where you’re at, there’s no need to hide behind anything, fearful of the real you being discovered.  God finds the real you – not just the good and the bad of who you are, but the ugly parts, too – to be worthy of His love.  Yes, you are worthy!  Isn’t that mind blowing?

And if you really understand your great worth before God, it begins to change you.  You no longer worry so much about what others think.  You know you matter deeply to the One whose opinion most matters in the universe!  You soul is flooded with joy and gratitude since you know you were put here for a purpose.  People watch you wrestle to grow and change, not perfectly but consistently, and they see something different about your life that only God can give.  That is, in fact, how we “shine like stars in the heavens” to show others what God has in store for them, too.

How about you?  Do you struggle with feeling your worth?  Do you forget, like I do sometimes, that God views you as His very own?  Take time this week to meditate on this important concept so you can experience the joy and gratitude that comes from knowing the Creator of the Universe delights in YOU!

For Further Thought: “Because you are precious in my eyes, you are honored, and I love you,” (Isaiah 43:4).  As you spend some time this week contemplating your worth before God, write down one or two ways you’ve seen God expressing His love for you during a time of challenge.  When you’re tempted to let go of your worth when you're struggling, pull those out as reminders that God is still with you as you engage with Him.