Emotions

Emotions.  We have so many: gladness, sorrow, joy, peace, pain, heartache, worry, guilt, love and kindness are but a few.  If challenge has taught me anything, it has been to embrace my emotions.  Not just the fluffy, happy ones, but the messy, scary not always straight-forward ones that are hard to navigate.

I didn’t always used to feel this way.  I actually took a lot of pride in being even-keeled and staying cool under pressure, in not being reactionary.  Now I am still all of those things, don’t get me wrong.  The difference is I no longer feel like I have to be those things.  In other words, I no longer care to maintain an image.  I am simply myself. 

Before, if something ugly happened I would just rush over it and wish it away, or I would act like it was no big deal even though internally my heart would be in shreds.  Then I would stuff it away so deeply I could convince myself it was gone.  Problem was, it would spill out in the most unexpected places and at rather inconvenient times! 

I’ve learned when we deny our emotions, we keep ourselves from growing through them in a way that makes us better for the process.  Clearly there is a time and a place, but sometimes we never make a time or a place to deal with our hearts.  We lose ourselves in busyness; we throw ourselves into our kids or our work.  We stop only long enough to remind ourselves to toughen up and get over it already.  After all, people are going through far worse all around us. 

God made you.  Each and every part, and each and every emotion.  Every thought, every decision shows you something about who you are and how you’re wired.  Negative emotions, maybe even more than positive ones, teach us more about that wiring.  When we take some time, however brief, to reflect on the “why,” we have a better shot at growing and actually moving forward in a way that’s real.

Emotions can also lie to us, another reason it’s important to confront them!  I have these negative tapes that can play in my head and I’ve learned the PLAY button isn’t held exclusively by me.  A bad meeting, that wrong look, the hurt I felt, or being rejected by someone I was interested in immediately make it start.  “You’re stupid.  You’re not worthy.  You’re not enough.  You’re too fat/ugly/old/young (pick the adjective!).  What made you think…?”  You know what I’m talking about!

Confronting these emotions is huge!  Learning where they come from, getting things out in the open, and picking my way through my fears and failures with God by my side has brought me such tremendous healing and peace!  I’ve learned to not just find the mute button, but to begin the process of “Rewind & Delete.”  Then I get to hit play again with God’s truths:

“I am with you always, to the very end.” Mt. 28:20b

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17

“See, I have you engraved on the palms of my hands.” Is. 49:16a

“He placed me at his banquet table, for everyone to see that his banner over me declares his love.”  SS 2:4

“What’s the price of two or three pet canaries?  Some loose change, right?  But God never overlooks a single one.  And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head!  So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk.  You’re worth more than a million canaries.”  Lk.12:7

It’s hard; it’s messy.  Emotions rarely cooperate with us the way we want them to.  But when you’re heart tells you run, remember God is standing next to you and will help you fight.  And when that becomes your process, the victories are sweet!

For Further Thought:  Re-read the scriptures listed above and pick out the one that speaks to you the most.  Take some time this week to meditate over it and ask yourself what God is trying to show you.  Then, memorize it!

This Will Never Be Different!

“I’m never going to be married.”

“I can never be a good spouse.”

“We can never work through this pain together.”

“I can never forgive myself.”

“I will never change.”

“My situation will never change.”

“I’m never going to be who they need me to be.”

“I’m not going to be able to make it through this.”

Doomed.  Stuck.  Lost.  Hopeless.  Depressed.  Ever been there?  I have, and it stinks.  In those moments I can feel so lost, so defeated, like the very air I breathe has been kicked right out of me.  These are the days I want more than anything to hide under my covers, to wallow in pain, self-pity and anger.  So often, it’s in our most challenging times, our deepest moments of despair, we find we can either break down or break through. 

Believe me, I’ve done both!  The difference, I’ve found, comes down to how I tackle it.  If I turn inward, I stay stuck far longer.  I may come up with solutions in my head and my heart, but they are usually knee-jerk reactions with an air of desperation to them.  Ironically, I’ve noticed my so-called “solutions” born in the heat of the moment rarely produce positive, healthy results over time.  It may give me an immediate fix, but it tends to backfire and send me right back to where I started, feeling even worse for the experience.  Even if my decisions are purely logical, if I leave God out of the process, they just don’t seem to go as well.

When I lean into God instead, it still amazes me what happens.  I get messy with God.  I let him see all my emotion, my pain and hurt.  I never put on masks with Him.  I am always painfully real.  As I do so, He begins to show me what’s broken within me that I need to grow in, or reminds me of my worth and value.  He speaks to me through His word with scriptures, and I make time to listen for His voice and sense His presence, which always brings me a sense of safety and of peace.  The solutions rarely come as quickly when I work through them with God.  He tends to not run ahead nearly as fast as I’d like to.  Yet time and time again, I have found His solutions work, even if they make no sense in the moment.  I grow.  I change.  I genuinely heal.  I have confidence in my decisions because I know I’m walking in step with Him.

I’ve also learned God is much better at diffusing my emotion than I am.  Alcohol and partying just mask it.  Activity just buries it for a while.  Friends help, definitely, but only God can take the maelstrom in my heart and begin to replace it with peace and even joy again.  The more I turn to Him, the quicker I become at letting go of the negative lies and embracing truth – that I am worthy, that He can change me and my situation, that I deserve to have joy and peace in my life because Jesus died to give me those things.  He reminds me of what I can do, and what I need to let go of.  My world can be falling down around me, but He’s still there to hold me and guide me through it all, keeping my heart and my mind safe through the process.

When you next feel attacked emotionally, take some time to turn to God in that moment.  Read some scriptures, spend some time praying.  Do those things that help you feel connected with God.  Take time to be still and listen for His voice.  You will be amazed at the results!

For Further Thought: “In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me; turn your ear to me and save me. Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress,” (Psalm 71:1-3).  What are some ways you can turn to God when you are feeling emotionally attacked?  Have a plan in place, and spend some time praying with God about it this week.