The Whisperers

Hey Dented Fenders!  Unfortunately, I have been sick this week.  Never fun :-/  Tried as I might, I just didn't have it in me to do much, including write.  I anticipate being back in the saddle by next week, but in the meanwhile I've reposted one of my most visited posts from last year.  Hope you find it encouraging, and I'm still happy to fulfill any requests from the "For Further Thought" section.  Happy reading!

I was sitting around the other day thinking about how implausible my dreams are.  Do you ever have those times where you wonder why on earth you think you’re able to do something?  It can be the ability to heal a broken relationship, get out of debt, find inner peace and joy, succeed financially or being able to develop deeper relationships.  Whatever it is, if it’s something big and important, something that inherently carries with it the ability to not only succeed but to spectacularly fail, I find I can be paralyzed by it.

Nobody wants to fail, right?  So in my moments of fear, I begin to worry it won’t happen, whatever my “it” may be.  I won’t get that promotion, heal that emotional wound, move forward in victory—I’m sure I’ll fall right on my face.  Then the negative whisperers move in.  You ever meet them?  They’re those voices in your head saying you not only won’t do it, but you never could do it and it was arrogant to believe you might be able to do it to begin with. 

They’re a nasty lot, these whisperers.  They love to mimic people in your mind, some long dead, and disguise themselves as someone whose approval you’ve valued.  They can take on the face of your mom or dad, an enemy or friend, a significant relationship, or even God.  Sometimes they’ll pose as all of the above, leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless, chastising yourself for ever having the audacity to dream big.

But as I was sitting there listening to those nasty whisperers trying to gnaw away at my soul, I began to hear another voice.  This voice was calling my name, trying to get my attention.  It came from a place of love and understanding, of genuine care and concern.  This voice whispered, Stop! Listen to me.  You are everything to me and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.   

Then the voice reminded me of a scripture which reads:

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the believers, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory…” (Eph.3:16f)

Silent tears rained gently down my face as my dad showed up and reminded me He was there to strengthen me with His power.  His love for me is beyond what I can comprehend but in that moment He was filling me with it, reminding me that He’s able to accomplish so much more than my current “it” issue.  My dad knows how to pull the bullies off me, wipe the dirt off my face, fill me with courage and send me forward again with faith.  You see my dad is the biggest Dad on the block and no one is able to defeat Him.  He is in my corner, fighting for my cause.  I have nothing to fear.

Guess what?  He’s your dad, too!  He loves you and longs to connect with you, to chase those nasty whisperers away from you and fill your heart and mind with love, vision, compassion and peace.  And if you let Him, He’ll fill you again with confidence so you can walk back out onto the playground of life, ready. 

For further thought:  What do the whisperers in your head tell you?  Take a hard look at those negative though patterns in your life, write them down, then cross them out and write God’s truth right next to it.  While you can do this in your head, it is a very powerful experience to actually do it on paper.  If you don’t know the truths to replace the lies with, a great place to start is at biblegateway.com.  You can find every version of the bible online there, and you can type in key words like worthy, love, grace and forgiveness and find several scriptures on each topic.  I promise you the result will be worth the effort!

Still need help?  Post a few of your negative whispers and I’ll post a few scriptures for you to consider. Or you can always email me at ennoiaministries@gmail.com.  Blessings!

Barb

The Child Within

I have found one of the harder challenges in life is learning to reconcile who you thought you would be with who you actually are.  Inside my core there’s this inner child who whispers in my ear, reminding me of all the adventures I’d promised myself, all the deeds that would be done, of the woman I would grow into.  There was a chapter in my life where facing that little girl was hard.  I felt so very aware of the ways I’d failed, so clear about the ways I’d disappointed myself and made wrong decisions at key points that came back to bite me hard. 

I think most of us, at some point in life, realize we’ve let that inner child down.  Maybe your career didn’t go the way you expected, or you thought you had met the love of your life, only to get divorced years down the road.   For some, the love of your life never materialized.  It could be the way you look, how you interact with people – I think we all have something we, in our core, feel conflicted about and disappointed within ourselves over.

I’ve worked hard to come to a place of peace with that little girl inside of me.  My ideal self had to take a hard look at my real self, and the two had to come to terms.  For me, it started by reminding myself that in God’s eyes, who I was at this exact moment in my life was enough.  It wasn’t my accomplishments that would earn His love.  It wouldn’t be my level of success, the use of my talents, or the good deeds I had done that would earn His approval.  It wouldn’t be my character, my heart for others, or anything else I did that would make me worthy.  No, He loved me simply because I was His.  It didn’t matter what anyone else thought, did or believed about me; God found me of infinite worth.

The more I grabbed a hold of that love, of that freeing truth, the more the little girl inside of me started to perk up.  Her eyes lit up again at the sense of her infinite worth; her joy came back when she realized she mattered so very deeply to the One whose opinion mattered the most in the universe:  her beloved Creator.  I know I’m hopelessly flawed, a sinner who will always struggle and waiver.  Yet I also know I serve someone who is greater, who is more powerful than my weakest, darkest moments.  I’ve watched Him pick me up and take me places I would have never thought to go.

Finally, I am at peace with who I thought I would be and who I actually am.  I welcome the idealism of that child inside of me; she reminds me we do have great adventures still to be had, great deeds of love to do, and of the woman God is molding me into.  And I remind her of God’s tremendous grace and mercy, of how much further He’s taken us than we certainly could’ve gone on our own, and that our mistakes have been used to become our greatest teachers.  We smile, hands entwined, and move forward to face the day.      

For Further Thought:  Luke 18:15-17 says, "Some people brought infants to Jesus, hoping He would touch them in blessing. The disciples rebuked them for doing so, but Jesus called to the people.  Jesus: Let the little children come to Me. Never hinder them! Don’t you realize—the kingdom of God belongs to those who are like children?  You can depend on this: if you don’t receive the Kingdom as a child would, you won’t enter it at all."  Young children receive blessing without second thought.  They actually have to be taught to say "thank you."  The light in their eyes when they receive something special is precious, greater than any words of thanks.  What blessing does God want to give the child within you?  How can you step out of the way in order to let yourself receive it at your inner most core?  Remember--it's God's heart to want to see your eyes light up with joy!

The Butterfly and the Eagle

I had this vision once.  In it, I was a butterfly.  I had managed to escape pitch-black waters where I was about to be eaten, and had landed in a beautiful, verdant meadow.  Everything was new.  Everything was lush and fresh.  I sat on a thick branch of a stout tree, slowly flapping my wings, drying off, regaining my strength and soaking in the beauty of the meadow.

This overwhelming feeling of delight and peace washed over me.  In my heart, I never wanted to leave the meadow.  I couldn’t imagine a more picturesque place.  I sat on that branch in awe that I had not only been rescued, but that this incredible space was where God would allow me to land. 

After my wings had dried, I began to float around the meadow in that bouncy way butterflies do, admiring the scenery.  Suddenly, a majestic eagle swooped down and carefully scooped me up in its talons.  I remember feeling overwhelmed by the power of this mighty bird, yet incredibly safe and protected as I sat within its hold.

The eagle lifted me up from the meadow and soared with me over mountains and rivers, toward a gorgeous setting sun.  I was profoundly struck in that moment by the realization that there was no way a butterfly (me) could see what I was seeing on its own.  My very wings would be destroyed if I traveled alone at that speed; I didn’t have the strength to fly anywhere near that high.  Yet tucked safely in the eagle’s grip, I could see incredible beauty and grandeur. I could experience sensations and go to heights I could never reach alone. 

Unbidden tears streamed silently down my face as the implications of what I was being shown hit me:  God was the eagle.  He rescued me from dark waters and imminent destruction.  He allowed me to heal and rest, to bask in the safety and freshness of the meadow, only to take me higher, to places I could never experience or even conceive of if I were making the journey on my own. 

When we’re struggling, no matter how big or small our struggle is, it’s easy to focus on the dark waters we’re striving to escape.  It’s also easy to think the place of rest we finally find ourselves in, because it’s amazing, is the best it’s going to be.  What I love about God, what I’ve come to deeply understand, is that He leads me to even greater heights when I rest in Him.  He rescues me from darkness and will take me places spiritually, emotionally and physically I never knew I could go.  In short, when I rest in His arms, He carries me on a more remarkable journey than I could of ever conceived for myself. 

What about you?  Are you trapped in the shadows, trying to break out into the sun?  Have you finally found your way back to His sunlight where you’re being refreshed and recharged?  Wherever you find yourself, God is in the branch just behind you, waiting.  When you’re ready, will you let Him swoop down, scoop you up, and take you to new heights?  Will you let Him lead you on a journey of faith bigger than you can imagine?  I hope so!  I hope we, all of us, open our hearts to not just living a good life, but to living a remarkable journey of faith.    

For Further Thought:   “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights,” (Psalm 18:32-33). 

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart,” (Psalm 91:4).

The Story of Your Life

God is in the business of transformation.  The Bible is full of example after example of transformed lives, people who’ve gotten a new lease on life, men and women who’ve been renewed.  It’s what He does. 

Yes, the Bible also has examples of people who rejected transformation, people who stayed stuck, hopeless, bitter and full of anger.  These were the people who rejected God and rejected change.  These were the people who wanted God to come to them on their own terms.  They wanted God to bow to them.

In my life, I have been both the rejected and the transformed; I have experienced amazing victories and bitter defeats.  Life can do that to us.  It can knock us around, bloody us a bit.  But my story doesn’t end with a lost battle.  What I’ve come to understand is it’s in those dark moments when my story can take some amazing, interesting turns only to become something even better.  Why?  How?  I’ve learned to let God come in.

We’ve had ups and downs, God and I, times where I’ve trusted Him and times where I’ve fought what I didn’t understand.  I’ve had times of deep peace, hope and restoration, and times of deep doubt, hurt and confusion.  Through it all, God has helped me to stay steadfast – relentless, resolute, single-minded, and true.  Not perfectly.  But consistently.  There’s nothing I can’t tell Him.  There’s nothing He wouldn’t do for me if it’s for my good.  His love for me has been unshakable, even when my love for Him was shaken.     

You and I both have a story.  It’s being written day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.  Each of our stories is unique.  There are no two stories that are the same.  What you have to say in your story is something only you can say, lessons only you can give back to the world.

Your story is your life.  What you do with your life, and how you live those precious few years you are given on this earth, define who you are and how your story will be told.  And the beauty of your story is it’s always within your power through God to steer it in a different direction.  God wants your life to be a love story – a story about how together you worked through incredible odds, you fought off enemies, you stayed faithful even though you stumbled sometimes.  When at last you lay your pen down, it will be as a soul who was victorious, who was transformed, and who was ultimately renewed in this life just as you’re heading onto renewal in the next.  That’s my dream for you, because it’s God’s dream for you.

Jesus said, “You, beloved, are the light of the world. A city built on a hilltop cannot be hidden. Similarly it would be silly to light a lamp and then hide it under a bowl. When someone lights a lamp, she puts it on a table or a desk or a chair, and the light illumines the entire house. You are like that illuminating light. Let your light shine everywhere you go, that you may illumine creation, so men and women everywhere may see your good actions, may see creation at its fullest, may see your devotion to Me, and may turn and praise your Father in heaven because of it,”  (Matt. 5:14-16).

God has big plans for your story, powerful lessons He wants to give you so you can then turn and give them to others in whatever fashion He shows you.  It may be you meet someone who is going through the same dark tunnel you’ve had to pass through.  You can offer him or her compassion and encouragement for the journey. It could be the extra joy in your step that people notice.  They may not be able to put their finger on why, but there’s something different about you and they note it.  God can use your experiences in a million different ways—and will—if you’ll let Him.

For Further Thought:  Spend some time this week reflecting on how to include God in the story of your life in a way that feels more tangible, and what He would like to do with the chapter you find yourself in right now.