A Lasting Resolution

Do you know how long the average New Year’s resolution lasts?  Thirty-six hours.  That’s it!  Yet every year millions of people set goals they will reach toward and never really achieve. 

I have found the only way to make permanent, lasting change in my life is to look beyond the surface.  So if I decide to make my New Year’s resolution to lose some extra weight, conventional wisdom would tell me to grab the latest diet book, maybe consult with a friend who just lost some weight, and dive in!  You would hear me say things like, “this is the year!  I’m gonna do it this time!”  I’d probably join a gym (their membership is highest in January and tapers off by mid-February) and have a weekly menu planned.  I may even lose some weight! But in a few days, weeks or months I’d find the pounds had crept right back on, and I’d feel defeated yet again. 

I think we’ve all done the drill.  I know I have!  I’ve set that goal, tried to overcome my fear of failing at it yet again, only to reinforce my fears by—you guessed it—failing!  I’m so glad God has taught me a different, better way.  The key to true change lies in dealing with what’s beyond the surface and digging into the heart. 

There’s a interesting scripture in Proverbs 4:23 that says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  And when God says, “above all else,” I sit up a little straighter and pay close attention because I know it’s important!  When I think of my heart, I think of my emotions, my passions, even my thoughts.  Some versions of the Bible, in fact, translate this verse as, “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.”  God is saying it’s of first importance to be aware of and to protect these things.

Even the word “guard” has implications.  If I need to guard something, it’s because it’s likely to be attacked.  How many times have you felt attacked emotionally and mentally, oftentimes by yourself?!  Guarding myself against my own attacks is probably the biggest challenge I face on a day-to-day basis.  It’s amazing how quickly I can go from confidence and peace to mentally berating myself and feeling crappy about who I am.  Fortunately, I’ve learned how to consistently fight back with God’s positive truths about me.  I’ve learned how to protect my heart.

So now when I make a goal, I take the time to look well beyond the surface.  Instead of focusing on the pounds I need to lose, I look instead to a much bigger picture.  Do I value my health—really?  Why or why not?  Do I believe I deserve to be healthy, not just in my head but deep down?  Why do I consistently turn to food for comfort?  Is there an issue from my past that’s keeping its hooks in me and needs to be dealt with?  If I self-sabotage, why?  It’s in the asking of these types of questions I begin to see my true heart about health, weight and eating.  And learning to combat these with God on my side is the beginning of true, lasting change. 

For Further Thought:  As you approach the New Year, think of the one goal you most want to achieve.  Above and beyond your action list for this goal, think of any thoughts or emotions that could block your progress.  Once you’ve identified them, start tackling them with God through scripture and prayer.  Get professional help if you need to.  Remember: you deserve blessing because you are a child of God!  Fight back against anyone who tells you differently—including yourself!

Michelangelo

I had the privilege of visiting the Accademia Gallery in Florence, Italy that houses the amazing sculpture of David, carved by the great Michelangelo himself.  As you enter the gallery, you’re ushered into this long, narrow hall.  Now at the end of the hallway stands the David in all its miraculous glory, but along the path leading up to him you see partially carved blocks of stone.  Fascinatingly enough, these were all of Michelangelo’s mistakes!  Some had very little carving; some were almost completely formed, like a body that had somehow been trapped in stone.  While several of these pieces were practice stones, some were works of art in progress destroyed by one wrong cut.

 Sometimes I can feel like that, like that last big cut in my life has ruined and destroyed me in ways from which I will never fully recover.  The pain is too great; the wound is too deep.  I feel trapped, unable to be released from the stony prison of my mind and heart.  I may run around and try to mask it with a lot of activity, or shove the emotions down so deep they rarely gurgle to the surface, but inside I know I’m cut, broken.  I feel alone.

It’s in those moments I have to remind myself God is my sculpture, not Michelangelo.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  He doesn’t use me (or any of us!) for practice marble.  He is the Master sculpture, the great I Am!  When the thief comes in to deface and destroy me, God knows how to work around that bad cut and still release the masterpiece within me.  Even when I’ve been the one knocking that hammer to all the wrong places, wounding and scarring and destroying myself until all I see left is a pile of rubble, God is still God.  He still knows how to pick up each tiny piece and recreate it into something even better, something miraculous. 

The prophet Isaiah put it this way: “[God] has sent me to repair broken hearts, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners … to give them a beautiful crown instead of ashes, to anoint them with gladness instead of sorrow, to wrap them in victory, joy and praise instead of depression and sadness. People will call them magnificent …” Is. 61:1b-3 (Voice, NIV)

I love that!  And I love knowing that even when no one else gets what I’m going through, God does.  He absolutely, positively gets it in all of its ugly, messy, painful glory.  He understands it even more deeply and clearly than I do.  He knows without one bit of hesitation how to heal and empower me to move forward.  He not only sees me right now at this very moment more clearly than I do, but He also sees the amazing person He intends for me to become. 

So I’ve learned to lean on His vision for me during those times of deep refining until I begin to believe again in what He has in store for me.  I’ve watched Him mold me into something greater, wiser, stronger, and yes – more joy-filled.  He helps me step into my truth: I am sacred, special, loved.  He reminds me that not only can I make a difference, I already have.

How about you?

For further thought: “Now all of us reflect the glory of the Lord as if we are mirrors; and so we are being transformed, metamorphosed, into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another, just as the Spirit of the Lord accomplishes it.”  (2 Cor. 3:18, Voice, AMP) 

Can't Buy Me Love!

The Beatles used to sing, “Money can’t buy me love.”  Nowadays, I’m not so sure we believe them!  Money for me has been a journey.  I have had times of tremendous abundance and times of deep scarcity.  My journey started in my childhood, as so many things do.

I grew up in what I now realize was a pretty plush lifestyle.  As a kid, it was all I knew.  It would be a few years before I realized not everyone had a large home, travelled extensively, had family and relatives with recognizable names and/or businesses and who socialized with people the world viewed as prestigious. 

It wouldn’t be until my parents divorced and we moved into a much smaller home in a blue-collar community a few years later that I began to become acquainted with this idea of scarcity.  I became quite aware of all the things that were no longer easily in reach, from clothes to restaurants and travelling experiences.  I grieved what I could no longer have, failing to see all the wonderful things I did have.  It was a time of hurt, bitterness and fear.

Now keep in mind I still lived far more comfortably than so many in this world.  My mother worked hard to provide for us and she did an admirable job.  Her incredible example still inspires me today.  But not having as much took me to a place of fear that only God was able to help me work through.  It would take time and experience for me to understand money is neither good nor bad; rather it’s mirror reflecting my character in how I choose to use it.

That process has taught me so many lessons!  The biggest one is so simple and yet can be so easy to slip through my fingers if I’m not careful: I have many, many blessings in my life, and very few of them have anything to do with money.  My most treasured moments are centered around people, not things.  I don’t mourn the loss of a hovercraft to play around on, fun though it was.  I do mourn the loss of my grandmother’s smile and her tremendous practical wisdom.  There’s no comparison between the two.

I’ve also learned that The Beatles were right after all; money can’t buy you love … or joy, or happiness, or fulfillment, or anything else the advertisers try to delude us into believing.  I have known some very, very successful people in my lifetime, some of whom are current, close friends.  I have known people of very modest means, some of whom are current, close friends.  What I have seen time and time again is that happiness, joy, peace and meaning are never found in financial success.  Rather, those incredible qualities come from how we approach life, how closely we are tied to our fellow man and to God.

I have seen rich and poor alike give generously, love generously and live a life that draws in the admiration of others.  I have also seen incredibly stingy, grasping, selfish people wrapped in a cloak of misery.  Again, money wasn’t the common denominator; character was.  At the end of the day, it’s not what we have but who we are that matters.  Proverbs 17:24 tells us, “The perceptive find wisdom in their own front yard; fools look for it everywhere but right here.” 

I share this because I find the holidays are one of those times it's easy to buy into the lie that we need to spend lot of money to achieve that perfect Christmas morning, or that perfect feeling of family and sentiment.  We go into debt and set ourselves back financially for months, and for what?  A plastic jeep some kid will drive for maybe a few months?  A computer that will be obsolete in another 2-3 years?  The latest gadget that will quickly be replaced by the next, newer gadget?  I’ve been guilty of it myself, wracked with misery over what I couldn’t provide versus remembering all I can and do provide to those I love, not just on Christmas morning but every day of my life. 

This Christmas, I want to really focus in on what matters: my family, the people I appreciate and love, and the true joy that comes from being with them.  I want to remind them to do the same.  I don’t want to waste energy and effort looking for what I wish I had, or what I want to have eventually, or focusing on the pieces that are missing, which is so easy for me to do!  I want to take time to intentionally acknowledge what I do have, really grabbing a hold of the blessings and joy all around me.  How about you?

For Further Thought:  “Wealth is a crown for the wise; the effort of fools yields only foolishness,” (Proverbs 14:24).  What are some ways you get tempted to make foolish choices with your money?  What are the drivers behind it?  How can you reach for wisdom instead? 

Rejoice

Ahh, the holidays.  It’s that time of year where houses are decorated, trees are thrown up, and the malls become a sea of humanity I loath to navigate.   It’s the time where that one neighbor of yours literally covers every square inch of their house with artificial lights, blow-up Santa's and plastic reindeer (which, of course, is always your kids’ favorite house to see!).  The utility bill goes up, your expenditures sky rocket and Christmas goodwill and cheer can get lost in the shuffle.

Christmas is also a time where a few other things sky rocket – the suicide rate, alcohol consumption and oftentimes your blood pressure!  It’s when you get to be subjected to that one wacky relative you avoid the rest of the year or have to deal with the craziness of family dysfunction.  Or that first holiday you will spend alone and all the emotions it entails.  Ho! Ho. Ho …

In all the melee of what we call “the holidays,” I have learned how crucial it is for me to stop and reflect.  At the end of the day, it’s not that perfect gift or family gathering or Norman Rockwell moment that will bring me permanent joy and peace, no matter how tempting that is to believe.  The perfect instagram picture or Facebook post won’t do it either.  Nope--the only thing that brings me perfect joy and “peace that passes understanding,” Philippians 4:7) is Jesus Christ.  It does happen to be his birth I’m supposedly celebrating, an easy fact to forget.

Isaiah tells us, “The people walking in darkness (that’s us, folks!) have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.  You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as men rejoice when dividing the plunder.  You have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders.  For to us a child is born, to us a son is given.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace,”(9:2-6). It’s not the light of the decked out house that shines brightest; it’s the light of God sent down to save you and me, to redeem us for something much, much greater.

Jesus was born, as Isaiah tells us in chapter 61, to be God’s light for us.  “He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion (again, that’s us)—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness …”

This always fills me with hope because I remember how much God has transformed me and how far He has taken me, even through deeply challenging circumstances.  It reminds me to give to others out of a sincere heart the most meaningful gifts of encouragement and love.  It reminds me that God will continue to mold me to become a mighty oak, tall and strong and beautiful before Him. 

So when I’m tempted to overspend, overeat, overstress and overreact, I stop.  I take a quick moment to remember I wear God’s crown upon my head, all because a baby was born in a manger to a virgin 2000 years ago.  Most of all, It reminds me to look at a message that can start to feel trite or repetitive and put the depth and meaning back into it. And I find I can relax, let it go, and truly rejoice.  

For Further Thought: Take some time out to look at what you’re wearing.  Is it a garment of praise, or a garment of stress?  Are you filled with gladness or filled with too much food and debt?  Make some time to remember what the whole point is behind this crazy season so you can stay centered with God in the midst of it and actually embrace the message. 

We Interrupt This Program

Hello Dented Fender Fans!  As I’m sure you’ve noticed, we’ve experienced some technical difficulties these last few days.  Everything is up and running once again, from the blog to the website link located on the top of the right column.  Posts will resume starting next Tuesday.  Yeah!!

I want to take this moment to thank everyone for your feedback, post suggestions, and especially for your readership!  When I first started, I had maybe 20 or so hits in a week.  We are now up to as many as 1000 hits in a day!  Thank you to all of you who have found enough value in receiving a weekly dose of encouragement that you chose to share and forward thedentedfender.com on to someone new.  You are the reason this continues to grow – and I continue to write!

Have something specific you would like to see me write about?  Email me at ennoiaministries@gmail.com.  See you (finally) next week!

Blessings,

Barb Boettcher