The See-Saw

Now I can’t speak to how men self sooth, but for women it usually involves ice cream, chocolate or something high in sugar, fat and empty calories.  That way, we can simultaneously eat yummy, fattening food while beating ourselves up emotionally for eating it, further perpetuating the love-hate see-saw ride we’re on.  I know you know what I’m talking about!

I hate the see-saw!  And those mental attacks can come out of nowhere.  I’m sitting there minding my own business, exhausted after a long day, and it’s like the good guy in my head took a nap or something because the bad guy starts creeping in past my defenses.  It can start off innocently enough.  Maybe it’s just a reminder of something that went wrong with my day, or something I would like to handle better in the future.  Then – wham! – those thoughts somehow morph into a litany of all that’s gone wrong with my life or all I need to handle more effectively, or worse - a good back beating of all my failures and character flaws.  Dang!  It just doesn’t take him long to get me deflated. 

Thankfully, I’ve learned to let the good guy in my head, the Holy Spirit, come to my rescue.  The Spirit never tries to just pacify me with pithy statements of how it’s okay because we all make mistakes, or how I should just be happy.  He’s willing to take me back to the scene of the crime and take a good, hard look with me.  He never lies to me.  He never sugar coats things.  But he’ll remind me of how I handled a situation better than the one before, or how I recovered emotionally from it more quickly, or how I learned such a powerful lesson from my circumstance it has propelled me forward.  In other words, the Spirit reminds me of my true victories and of what really matters.

 

Even if it’s an area of my life that’s currently “under construction,” he whispers in my ear words of encouragement, reminding me my life is a journey to be travelled.  He helps me recall ways I’ve grown over time previously to help me maintain hope and vision for the current hill (or mountain!) I find myself climbing.  He restores my hope and peace.

I've learned the easiest way to step back onto solid ground is through prayer.  When I take a moment -- or sometimes a really long moment! -- and invite God into my situation, He obliges. When I feel like I’m stuck on that crazy sew-saw of emotions, he reminds me of my positive truths and helps me regain my footing. 

For further thought:  There’s a passage I love that starts in Ephesians 5:16 which I will condense here for our purposes: “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.  For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law … those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”  Your sinful nature – the bad guy in your head – reminds you of the “law,” or all the ways you’ve screwed up.  This week, look for ways to allow God’s Spirit to remind you the grace and freedom you’ve been given, of His unfailing, unflinching love for you, and continued direction for the path He is leading you on. 

Radio Show

Hello to my Dented Fender subscribers!  First of all, thank you for all your support and encouragement these last several months.  It has meant a lot!  Anytime you have a topic you would like me to talk about, feel free to reach out to me at ennoiaministries@gmail.com.  While I can't promise to do every topic, I will do my best!

Tomorrow evening, I will be a guest on a talk radio show called "Love & Laughter" speaking about some of the content from my upcoming book, Renewed: How to find a Window When Life Has Closed the Door.  The show runs from 7-8 pm EST.  I would be honored if you would consider tuning in and listening.  I've included a link below that will take you right there.  I've never been on a radio show before so I'm a little nervous.  Any extra prayer you could send my way would be most appreciated!  I hope to have you join me :-)

In the meanwhile, my regular post will come out tomorrow.  Thanks in advance for any of you who are able to tune in, and especially for the prayer!

Blessings,
Barb Boettcher Lownsbury

Link (Once there click on the "Play" icon):

http://www.iheart.com/live/talkradio-1080-wkjk-4908/

If for some reason the link doesn't work for you, go to iheart.com.  Search for Talk Radio 1080 WKJK.  Once you reach the station, click play.

Broken

When I was younger, I used to think if I could learn from everyone else’s mistakes, I could avoid making any major ones myself.  Now there is some wisdom in that; certainly I have avoided a lot of situations and hardships simply from having the foresight and knowledge that comes from such searching.  Yet I learned the hard way no matter how well I lay out my ideas and game plans, life has a way of not cooperating.

The truth is none of us get through this life without being broken.    We think we can insulate ourselves from the pain with money, success or fame.  Even in love we assume we’re safe from the deeper hurts in life now that someone we believe in and trust is by our side. 

The real truth is safety is an illusion.  There is no such thing.  You will go through challenges in this life that will break you.  The key isn’t to insulate ourselves; the key is found in how we handle the moment of our brokenness.  It’s a turning point; a fork in the road.  It’s in that very moment you have a choice: to move forward toward healing and freedom in a way that will transform you, or to continue down that path of bitterness, shame and regret.

Two things I have learned. It’s in our brokenness Christ shows up most personally and helps us find a deeper, better way; and no matter how far down the path of bitterness and brokenness you are, it’s never too late to take the fork in the road that leads back to God and wholehearted living. 

God is a good God.  He’s not out to tempt you, to ruin or destroy you.  Yet we also live in a fallen, broken world, which means challenges are going to come our way that are far greater than we can handle on our own.  When you and I learn to lean into God during these storms, He rescues us in ways we could never anticipate or imagine.

I think that’s why those crazy early Christians wrote, “Look, we count as blessed those who persevered under hardship,” (James 5:11a).  It’s because they knew in the depths of challenge and despair you and I would also see the depth of God’s mercy and love in ways we had only glimpsed before.  Our faith becomes bedrock, unshakable.  Even though our knees may still quiver and tremble and doubt can shadow our heart, His light pierces through more quickly each time we learn to trust and surrender to His voice.

When you’re sitting there sorting through the ashes of what were once your dreams, remember: “[God] has sent me to repair broken hearts, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners . . . to give them a beautiful crown instead of ashes, to anoint them with gladness instead of sorrow, to wrap them in victory, joy and praise instead of depression and sadness. People will call them magnificent …” (Isaiah 61:1b-3).

For Further Thought:  God has a way of taking our shattered dreams and molding them into something even greater than we could have asked for or imagined.  This week, pray for God to show you His vision for your life, and for the courage to then walk toward it. 

Spinning Plates

I have this vivid memory from my childhood of the circus.  Sitting under the Big Top felt magical.  There were clowns, acrobats, women twirling in the sky, the flying trapeze and, of course, that daring man surrounded by dangerous lions!  I was enthralled.  There was one act, though, that has stuck with me through the years: the man and the spinning plates.

Now this man would set a stick on the ground, and he’d put a plate on top of the stick and spin it.  In my young mind that was pretty impressive for I knew I surely couldn’t do it (though my mother probably hid the good china when we got home).  But he didn’t stop with just one plate.  He kept adding stick after stick, plate after plate, until he had nearly a dozen plates spinning simultaneously on these sticks.  He would run like a crazy man back and forth between all these plates to keep them spinning so they wouldn’t break.  Invariably some did, but he’d just grab another plate and keep going.  I was fascinated!

I think this memory has stuck with me because I’ve come to realize we can live our lives a lot like this man with the spinning plates.  We can get caught up in chasing after all of these things, trying to keep our plates spinning, but invariably we can’t keep up and some of our plates crash and fall.  It’s exhausting and futile.  And it doesn’t matter how frenetic your pace; you can never do it perfectly.

One of the most freeing moments in my life was when I quit trying to spin the plates and started letting God spin them for me.  I just let go and knew my job was simply to show up with a willing heart and a desire to give my best.  God’s job was to keep the plates spinning and produce the outcome.  Sometimes He allows a plate to crash because I’ve taken on too much.  It’s hard initially, but always the right choice long term.  Sometimes He’ll use a wobbling plate to teach me about surrender and trust since my instinct is to want to run over and quickly spin it again.  Sometimes He’ll add a plate I really didn’t want added, but it ends up becoming a huge blessing in my life. 

So now I don’t chase around keeping up with my plates in life – family, work, love, friendship, money, success, hobbies, etc.  I pray and offer them up to God.  I’m present and I show up, but I let God direct the rest. It’s not always easy; I still find I want to rush in when I see a plate wobbling or shed some tears when a plate has crashed, but it’s worth the internal battle to keep those plates out of my hands!  Why?  Glad you asked.

“Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 3:4-7). In a word--peace.  And truly, feeling at peace is priceless.

Wishing you a week free of plate spinning and full of God’s peace!

For Further Thought:  What is the one plate you are most tempted to want to keep in control of?  What drives you to want to keep spinning it on your own?  How does this add anxiety to your life?  This week, I’d like to encourage you to pray about letting go of this plate and laying it in God’s hands.  Ask Him for the strength to let go and trust His outcome, even if He lets the plate crash.  I’d love to hear about what you’ve learned through this process so feel free to post or email me at ennoiaministries@gmail.com!

Note:  For all The Dented Fender followers who reached out to me last week, thank you!  My goal is to give a weekly dose of encouragement to help us navigate through life’s challenges in a more whole-hearted, God-centered way.  Alas, life doesn’t always cooperate!  As a single mom and a business owner, there are rare occasions where, despite prayer and my best efforts, time won’t allow it.  In the future, I will post a brief note so you will know.  Again, thank you for the emails, calls, etc.  It meant a lot to me!