Patterns

Have you noticed how negative patterns in our lives are so hard to break?  For me, it works a lot like my food habits: I can eat the occasional fatty meal here and there with very little consequence.  I can even eat terribly for a day or two without gaining a pound.  If I splurge into day three, however, it’s like my body is making up for lost time.  Wham!  I’ll put on 5 pounds seemingly overnight.  And losing that weight? Ugh!  It always seems to take twice as long to take it off as it took to put it on.

So I’m learning the importance of patterns, both negative and positive.  With food, if I focus on making healthy choices and eliminating “trigger” foods from my reach—those are the foods I have no self-control over so I don’t even try keeping them around!—I gradually, permanently lose weight.  So it sounds easy, right?  It’s not!  It’s a constant effort to be intentional about what I put in my mouth.  It requires awareness of my surroundings, preparation for how I’ll approach that dinner party or eating at a particular restaurant.  In other words, I can’t just wing it!  I have to be conscientious, knowing I won’t be perfect but also knowing if the large majority of my choices are healthy ones, the positive pattern will keep my weight in check.

I have found our emotional patterns work much the same way.  If I focus on all my failures, if my mental pattern is one of negativity and defeat, I receive more failure and negative emotion in return.  If I begin replacing those ugly thoughts with God’s truths about me, acknowledging I’m His amazing, justified, incredible daughter whom He loves with an everlasting love, how I feel about myself begins to change.  It takes work; it takes time; it takes intentional focus, but I begin to experience blessing and healing.  Positive emotions and experiences begin to fill up my life.  I may still have lapses, but my overall life is filled with God’s love for me. 

The Bible puts it this way in Luke 6:31 (MSG): “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them!”  A practical use of this would be if you want a friend, be a friend.  In time, you’ll find yourself with some deep friendships.  I think that’s why this scripture is sometimes called “the golden rule.”  The results are rich with blessing!

Philippians 4:4-9 says, “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies and walk with you.” (MSG, VOICE)  Nuff said ;-)

For further thought:  What negative pattern in your life needs an extreme makeover?  What needs to change in your thinking in order for you to begin to achieve it?  How can you implement this mental change each and every day?

No Limits

We’ve all heard sayings like, “Reach for the moon; even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.”  It sounds good.  It sounds inspiring.  But what does it really mean? How does it actually apply?

I am continually amazed at how much I limit myself.  I should preface that by saying I have achieved quite a bit in life.  Yet I find my natural mindset is to shoot for what I can visualize, what I can see myself doing.  Even if what I envision is big, I usually have no idea how I’m going to get there, how I should go about making my vision a reality.  So I do nothing.  I don’t even really try!  I simply stop and go back to what I can picture and do what I know how to do.

If I’m bound by what I can envision, I am seriously limited! I can only grow to what I can see.  This is where faith comes in.  I serve a universally large God, a god who created things so big we still are struggling to figure it all out on both a macro and micro level!  Isaiah put it this way, “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?  Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?  To whom, then, will you compare God?” (40:12,18a)

I serve a limitless God, one who is bound by nothing.  When I lean on myself, I’m limited by my own understanding; when I lean on God, I am limited by nothing.  Jesus told his disciples, “If you have faith and do not doubt … you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”  (Mt. 21:21-22)  Now my faith may never grow to that level, but if I never reach for it I’ll never know.  And if by reaching for such a great faith in what God can do I fall short, I will still grow and achieve far more with God than if I’d never tried.  So I’m challenged to think so much bigger than I do on my own—universally big!  Exponentially large!  Because the God I serve is all of those things. 

For further thought: “Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” –Isaiah 40:27-31

Control

I admit it!  I'm a control freak by nature.  Not only do I want to know the outcome before I start, I tend to try to plan everything in my life to guarantee the outcome I desire.  But the truth is life doesn't work that way.  It rarely cooperates!  All my nicely laid plans tend to fall like dominoes and I'm left staring at the mess.

God keeps reminding me I don't need to carry the outcome in my hands.  All my striving doesn't guarantee anything anyway.  This is true in relationships, in business, and in life.  I don't need to have every answer ahead of time.  I don't need to constantly run through every scenario in my head in preparation.  I just need to do what I'm called to do and give it my best.  The rest is up to God. 

I Corinthians 3:7 puts it this way: "So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."  When I hold onto this scripture and place my focus on God, He leads me down a calm path.  I'm not worried about the outcome anymore; it's in His hands.  I can simply focus on doing what He's calling me to do.  Then, even if all the dominoes still fall, I can see the pattern they make and find meaning in the process.  I stay centered, at peace. 

For further thought: Psalm 23:1-4 "The Eternal is my shepherd, He cares for me always^.   He provides me rest in rich, green fields beside streams of refreshing water.  He soothes my fears; He makes me whole again, steering me off worn, hard paths to roads where truth and righteousness echo His name.

Even in the unending shadows of death’s darkness, I am not overcome by fear.  Because You are with me in those dark moments, near with Your protection and guidance, I am comforted."

Success

Success is something we all want however we choose to define it.  As a businesswoman I see people all the time who only want to find the short cut from just starting out to overnight screaming success.  They want to skip the hard work part and go straight to the lots of money, lots of stuff, and lots of fame part.

I want to be successful.  I want to do well at whatever I try.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing, this desire to succeed.  It forces me to be intentional at what I put my hand to, and it pushes me to strive to give my very best in what I do. 

That said success also has a very dark side.  Sometimes I can start equating success with money and levels of respect and recognition.  I can begin to feel less if I don’t have whatever I define as “enough.”  And enough is a very relative term.  I have met multimillionaires who still don’t feel they have enough money, parents who push their kid to into one more activity so they can feel like they’re doing a good job, and people who are terrified of making any kind of mistake in case they lose even one inch of what they deem as being “enough.”  It can be crushing, all this striving.

Colossians 3:23 tells us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”  When I read this, it puts everything into perspective for me.  God is calling me to be my best.  He is asking me to give everything I have into whatever it is I do.  The balance check for my heart, however, comes in whom I’m doing it for.

Am I striving for my own glory?  Am I determined to get ahead no matter the cost to my conscience, my character, or my very soul?  Frankly, sometimes I’m tempted to do just that.  I can lose sight of the Lord I’m serving and start serving myself.  After all, many, many people out there have this mindset, and not just in the business world. 

But I have also seen the effects of selling yourself out for success.  The path toward self is littered with broken marriages, scarred families, bankruptcies, soul-sapping loneliness and crippling cynicism.  There is a steep price to be paid for taking the short cuts.  And even if I achieve all I’m striving for, it doesn’t bring happiness.  The late Robin Williams is a sad reminder of that fact.

At the end of the day only God brings peace, meaning and joy to my striving.  Only when I’m looking to honor Him do we, together, make the best decisions that propel me forward on the inside toward becoming a better version of myself; someone whose life points towards something far greater than this temporary world.

I see these kinds of people all around me, too.  They are the ones slowly, steadily building enduring empires.  They are far more concerned with legacy than with the lunacy of achieving for achievement’s sake.  They build amazing families, solid businesses, and make positive impact on their communities.  They are the one at work everyone knows they can depend on, the person everyone knows they can trust.  They’re not perfect; they have struggles.  Yet they’re admired and respected for the right reasons, and they’re quick to give the honor to God.  They are the evidence of what God can do with a man or woman who strives for Him.  They remind me of what true success is – a joy-filled life that impacts others. 

So when my priorities get out of whack yet again, I remind myself I am not my own boss (thankfully!  I think she’s a bit neurotic!! Lol).  What I’m doing, however small, serves a much greater purpose, and it’s not up to me to make anything happen.  I just work at it with all my heart for God; He worries about the rest.  And I feel free again :-)

For further thought: Colossians 3:22-25 (MSG) “Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.”

The Less Mindset

Some days I wake up and look at what I’m not: I’m not thin enough, smart enough, rich enough, successful enough—it’s a long list that can go on and on.  When I wake up feeling that way, I have to remind myself with God there is an even longer list of what I am: I am a daughter of the most High, a blessed and beautiful princess of the King.  I am forgiven, free, loved.  I belong.

Yet too often I accept a “less” mindset.  I see what I’m not and I either feel bad about myself or get apathetic and complacent, convinced I can never change.  So I quit striving to grow because I’m too down on myself to do anything.  I accept being less.  Ever been there?

It’s in those moments I have to remind myself first and foremost I am a child of God, perfectly created and worthy of love and belonging.  I am not defined by my achievements or my lack of them.  I am defined by my God who loves me with an everlasting love and wants to see me shine.  God doesn’t care how fat or skinny I am, how much money I make or about how much I achieve.  He cares about me; the person inside. 

To Ponder:  Ephesians 3:16-19 ^" I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (NIV)

The Dented Fender

Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.  I’d only had the car for maybe 6 months when my son asked me if he could borrow it for a date.  I’m sure you can guess the rest!
      Ironically, I have come to love my dented fender.  To me, it has become a symbol of a lot of powerful life lessons. Despite the fact my life has suffered some serious blows, those blows do not define me - just as that dent doesn’t define me.  I am greater than my circumstances, greater than my trials.  And it’s not because I’m so awesome (thankfully!); it’s because God is.  He’s taken some dark, ugly moments and turned them into something amazing and beautiful inside me.      So I keep the dent in my fender.  It reminds me that God uses the shamed things, the broken things of this world to do something pretty remarkable - even in someone as ordinary as me.  So read, ponder, stay a while.  Hopefully you’ll find something here that encourages and uplifts you.  Happy reading!